(from Anshu Christa Jacobson's Facebook page, 9-28-18)
The last few weeks have been really rough. I've dealt with everything from family & personal issues to people & students that I have loved, turned out to lie and betray me and my dojo.
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The issue with the “lie & betrayal” started over a year ago, in which I knew nothing about it till recently. Looking back, all of this would have started roughly at the same time that another student (He Who Must Not Be Named / “Voldemort”), who was very close to me, stabbed me in the heart and threw me away like trash. Every time that I attempted to speak to “Voldemort”, he treated me with the same neglect that you would a stray dog. So he ignored me, in hopes that I would just go away.
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The feeling of having a friend throw you away like trash is the emptiest feeling in the world. It makes you feel worthless…
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Although “Voldemort” threw me away like trash and treated me like a stray dog, the betrayal that happened weeks ago is just as bad, just not in the same way.
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There is no way “the other side” knows the truth or the facts. But it is not for me to tell. I have done no wrong, which is why I have no problems sleeping at night.
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Why is it that all of the people that have ****** me over & stabbed me in the back all hang out / are all friends? They never knew each other till they met me… I’m not saying collusion or conspiracy… I’m just asking why?
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It is what it is. I would still do everything the same way simply because I want to help people. I am not responsible for others actions – good or bad – I am only responsible for my own. I would rather go out of my way and help as many as I can, knowing that a certain percentage will **** me over, rather than not helping everyone that I can.
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I get it – I am a transgender woman that teaches martial arts. I am the only woman (trans or otherwise) that runs a international koryu martial arts business. I am a target every time that I log on the internet. I’m a woman that teaches combat and battlefield tactics in a community that is dominated by men. Every closed minded, prejudice, sexist, hateful bigot comes out of the woodwork every YouTube video I post.
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If I only post images & videos of me doing martial arts in classical attire, than I get ridiculed for not being “feminine” enough and get attacked for my gender. If I post fun flirty images of my femininity, then I get ridiculed for not being modest in the martial arts community, and get attacked for my gender.
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The bright side - there is just as much positive than negative in my life, and I need to focus on that.
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On one hand… the Hombu Dojo student body is not competing for the highest attendance records to say the least. But on the other hand, the online dojo, books and DVDs are selling at an all time high. That example is how everything is in my life… I wish there was 50 shades of grey, unfortunately, right now there is only black and white.
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I’ll never quit. Budo Ryu Ninjutsu is a martial art that this world needs. There is too much bullshit in the martial arts community. I’m too competitive and pissed to quit! Haters can hate and leeches will attempt to take what I have created and worked for & steal my teachings in some way to help profit for them-selves. None of them was successful when they met me and none of them will EVER out work me.
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Typing all of this out has taken long enough. Time for me to get back to work.
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To those that has stayed true, thank you for your love and support. I deeply appreciate it. Until next time: take care, be safe and good luck on your journey of Budo.
